Whether he’s a brand-new dad or seasoned pro, deficient dad or Father of the Year, every dad needs encouragement. Bless your husband (and your family!) with these 10 ways to encourage your husband as a dad.
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We moms know what we’re doing. (Well, as much as anyone does!) We have our systems, our methods, our schedules, and our routines. We’re usually the ones running the show when it comes to the kids, and we do it with expertise and finesse.
In the process of keeping all those plates spinning, however, we can sometimes have a tendency (unintentionally or otherwise) to shut out or shut down our husbands.
Maybe we correct everything they do (even if it’s not necessarily wrong, just not the way we’d do it).
Maybe we nag them about what they do/don’t do with the kids.
Maybe we question their parenting decisions or criticize them in front of the kids.
Does any of that sound familiar?
The thing is, if we want our husbands to be involved, if we want them to lead, if we want them to be great dads, then we need to encourage them.
We need to build them up, not tear them down. Support them, not undermine them. Help them, not belittle them.
Even if your husband is the best dad ever, he still needs your support and encouragement. After all, you like affirmation as a mom, right??
Whether he’s a brand-new dad or seasoned pro, deficient dad or Father of the Year, you’ll bless your husband (and your kids!) when you encourage him as a dad.
10 Ways to Encourage Your Husband as a Dad
Want to support your husband and help him grow in one of his most important roles? Want to strengthen your family and become a more loving, cohesive unit? Start with these 10 ways to encourage your husband as a dad:
Full disclosure: I am writing this as a woman married to a man who is a fantastic dad. Since that’s my experience, I won’t pretend to know what it’s like to parent with anything other than a highly-involved, highly-capable partner. I realize and acknowledge that some of you reading this may be playing on a completely different field. For more help, I encourage you to consult a professional therapist or counselor.
1. Accept his differences
I’m going to go out on a limb and guess your husband is probably a bit (or maybe even wildly) different from you. In addition to distinct personalities, there are also gender differences that come into play. Don’t squelch that — it’s a good thing!
Those differences are like puzzle pieces that make us better and stronger as a whole. So don’t expect your husband to be like you — accept (and even celebrate) that he is his own unique, God-created person.
2. Allow him to be the parent God created him to be
Those personality and gender differences often translate into differences in parenting styles, as well. Resist the urge to correct everything he does, assuming you know better! Just because it’s not how you would do it, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
Seek to understand where he’s coming from, be humble enough to admit you might be wrong, and allow him to be the parent God created him to be.
That doesn’t mean you always do everything his way, however! Your kids need your touch just as much as his. We parent best when we embrace our differences and work together to provide the strongest parts of each of our parenting styles.
3. Back him up
One of the quickest ways to discourage our husbands and undermine their authority is to criticize a parenting decision in front of the kids. Even if it’s not what you would do, back him up (at least in front of the kids).
That doesn’t mean you always have to agree. You absolutely can (and should) discuss decisions you disagree with, but wait to do it in private. And take care to do it in a respectful, loving way, addressing your concerns without criticizing his character.
4. Believe in him
Many of us entered motherhood clueless and afraid. (I know I did!) So, it’s natural to assume many of our husbands entered fatherhood the same way.
If your husband isn’t rising to the challenge as well as you would like, maybe what he needs most is for you to believe he can. Maybe what he needs more than a coach is a cheerleader. Maybe what he needs is for you to affirm — both in word and in action — that he can be the dad you both want him to be.
5. Give him space to learn
Your husband is a grown man, not one of your kids! So, don’t micromanage him. He may not do everything the way you would like it to be done, but as we’ve already mentioned, that’s not necessarily a problem.
Even if he has a lot to learn (don’t we all??), give him space to do it. Even if he doesn’t know the best way to handle a situation, give him time to figure it out. And even when he makes mistakes, give him tons of grace.
6. Focus on what he’s doing well
It’s a universal truth that we see more evidence of whatever we focus on. If we focus on all the things our husbands are doing wrong as a dad, that’s all we’ll see. If, however, we focus on the things they’re doing well, we’ll see more of that.
Few people (if any) are motivated and encouraged by constant criticism. So, if you want to support your husband as a dad, spend significantly more time praising what he’s doing well than how you want him to improve.
7. Praise him
One of the best ways to encourage your husband as a dad is by praising him often — both in front of the kids and in private. Tell your kids what you admire about him, point out the things he does for your family, and compliment him when you notice him being a great dad.
8. Nurture his growth
Of course, none of this means you can’t ever provide constructive criticism. Supporting him in his role as dad also sometimes means making observations, offering opinions, and even being willing to have hard conversations, when necessary. The key is to do it with love, respect, and a healthy balance of praise.
9. Facilitate time with the kids
Many men (though certainly not all!) have a tendency to focus more on the responsibility to provide for their families than the need to spend time with them. But that time is so important!
Lovingly encourage your husband to spend time with the kids, offer ideas (if he needs them) of how he can do that, and make it easier for him by dropping a few things from his to-do list or even doing them yourself.
10. Pray for him
Last, but certainly not least, pray for him. Pray for wisdom. Pray for his heart. Pray for the fruits of the Spirit in his life. And pray for strong relationships with each of your kids.
If there is a matter that especially concerns you, take it to God in prayer. God is the only one with the power to change hearts, and no matter where your husband is in his fatherhood journey, prayer is the best way to encourage him as a dad.
(For help praying for your husband in all areas of his life, I HIGHLY recommend Stormie Omartian’s Power of a Praying Wife.)
Whether he’s a brand-new dad or he’s been doing this for years, whether he’s the best dad in the world or… not so much, every dad wants and needs to be encouraged. And these 10 tips will go a long way towards helping our husbands be the dads they were created to be.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:
- 25 Ways to Honor Your Husband on Father’s Day {By Love Language}
- To My Husband On Father’s Day
- 10 Practical Ways to Put Your Husband First
- 10 Lessons I’ve Learned in 10 Years of Marriage
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