Do you ever worry that you’re not a “good mom?” Do you have days when you feel like you’re failing your kids or that you aren’t doing enough? If you’ve been a mom for more than 24 hours, I’m guessing that answer is “yes!”
The following is an exercise I highly recommend doing anytime you start to wonder, “Am I a good mom??”
A couple of weeks ago, I decided to perform an interesting experiment. On one of my days at home, I made a list of anything I did that day that I thought could be classified as something a “good mom” would do. These included anything related to taking care of Aidan’s physical, emotional, or spiritual needs as well as providing a safe and nurturing home environment.
Part of me knows that I’m a good mom, but I wanted to accumulate evidence to prove it to the insecure part of me that worries it’s not enough.
I’m sharing my list with you not to brag or promote myself, but rather as an example of the kind of list you might consider making for yourself.
I’m also sharing it to demonstrate the multitude of “good mom” moments that you are probably already doing and underplaying or taking for granted. After all, it’s really not a few big moments that make a good mom, it’s all the little daily ones!
My list of “Good Mom Moments” from Thursday, April 7, 2016.
(I wrote down as much as I could remember and/or recognize by the day’s end.)
- Got him out of bed (Hey, I didn’t leave him in bed all day, that’s a win!)
- Fed him breakfast
- Changed his diaper multiple times
- Let him hug and climb on me while working out, even though it made for a less productive workout.
- Read him books (some of them multiple times, even though I’m sick of them! 😉 )
- Smiled at him
- Picked out clothes that were weather appropriate
- Helped him get dressed
- Took him to the library
- Kept him safe from traffic
- Hugged him and kissed him multiple times throughout the day
- Fed him lunch
- Put thought into what he likes to eat & into covering all food groups
- Put him down for a nap
- Picked up the house – tried to maintain a reasonably clean and orderly home
- Did some laundry so he’d have clean clothes
- Got him up from his nap
- Fed him a snack
- Talked to him throughout the day
- Found ways to incorporate him into my chores & errands
- Played cars with him, even though playing cars is boring to me
- Fed him a healthy supper
- Cleaned up supper
- Bathed him
- Read more stories
- Brushed his teeth
- Rocked him and sang his favorite song that I made up for him
- Prayed for him
It was an interesting experiment, and it was good for my soul to make such a list. I really started to realize, as I thought about my day and listed one act after another, how much more I do for him than I give myself credit for.
I’m not the kind of mom that takes her kid on lots of outings, nor am I the kind that comes up with all kinds of exciting activities, and that can make me insecure. I worry I don’t do enough.
I’m also a bit of a perfectionist, and I often stress about doing the “right” thing. Making a list like this reassures me that even though I don’t do everything perfectly or make all the right decisions, I do a lot. And what I do matters. I am a “good” mom!
I highly encourage you to make your own “Good Mom Moments” list! It will bless you so much!
Even if you don’t want to spend the time or mental energy listing out every single thing you did for your kids today, at least take a look at this Good Mom Checklist that I’ve made. It’s a list of general things that will tell you whether or not you’re a “good mom.”
Good Mom Checklist
Have you at any point today:
- Taken care of your child(ren)’s immediate needs for food, clothing, shelter
- Fed him/her/them (or made sure they got) three healthy meals (plus snacks if that’s the eating schedule you think is best)
- Kept him/her/them reasonably clean & sanitary (not all day – they will play and get dirty – but you cleaned them after getting soiled)
- Smiled at your child(ren)
- Hugged your child(ren)
- Played with your child(ren)
- Looked at & noticed your child(ren)
- Talked to your child(ren)
- Listened & paid attention
- Put their needs or wants ahead of your own when necessary and best for them (but not every time they wanted you to!)
BONUS POINTS
Read to them
Prayed for them
Took them on an outing
Encouraged them to engage in activities that promoted their development
If you were able to check all the items on that list, congratulations! You’re a GOOD MOM! 🙂
What do you think? What does being a “good mom” mean to you? Do you agree or disagree with any of the items on my list? Were there any that I left out that you think are characteristic of being a good mom? Share with us below!
Lane Schneider says
April 21, 2016 at 9:09 pmSimply spending time with your child is so very valuable. Outings are fun (sometimes!) but just hanging out without TV or video is a good thing to do. Reading is probably one of the best activities a mom could ever do beyond the basic physical care that is given. And praying! Not just FOR them, but WITH them. I wish I had done more praying WITH my daughter…
Lisa Mullen says
April 23, 2016 at 12:55 amI fully agree with you on the reading!! And praying, too, of course. That’s a really good point about praying with your kids! Thank you for sharing!
Marie says
April 21, 2016 at 10:07 pmOh my gosh I love this post! So true! Thanks for sharing and putting it out there 🙂
Lisa Mullen says
April 23, 2016 at 12:56 amThank you Marie!! It was one of my favorite ones to write because it’s been such a struggle for me. I’m so glad I could be a cheerleader for other moms!
Ellen@MommyHappiness says
April 21, 2016 at 10:42 pmSo so true! It is so easy to be hard on ourselves! I think I need to make a “Good Mom” checklist too! I always go over all the things I didn’t do at the end of the day or things that went wrong and don’t always focus on the things I did do or things that went well! 🙂
Lisa Mullen says
April 23, 2016 at 12:58 amUgh, I do that all too often! I definitely have a tendency to dwell on my mistakes rather than celebrate my success or my progress, but I’m working on it! My checklist was a big step for me. Have fun with yours!
Sarah McCoy says
April 22, 2016 at 2:24 amGreat post! I think a lot of the time moms think doing things outside the home qualify as a good mom. this is a good reminder it’s the daily care that makes us good moms.
Lisa Mullen says
April 23, 2016 at 12:59 amThanks Sarah! I agree that it’s all those little things that tend to get overlooked, but they add up to something pretty important! 🙂
Natalie says
April 26, 2016 at 2:29 amWhat a fabulous reminder! I’m always guilt tripping myself or reflecting on my day as a mom negatively. I need to take the time to remember all of things I do right and all of the ways I look out for my kiddo. Thanks for posting this!
Lisa Mullen says
April 26, 2016 at 2:40 amThank you so much! I’m glad it encouraged you. I am the same way and realized that, like you, I needed to give myself credit for all the good things I do each day. That is why I made the list and why I wanted to share it with other moms. I knew there were many out there struggling with the same mommy guilt!
Rhonda Swan says
April 28, 2016 at 1:45 amLove your post here. Of course you are a good mom lovely lady. Keep up the great work here and live unstoppable!
Lisa Mullen says
April 28, 2016 at 3:41 pmThank you so much Rhonda!